History
What are clams, and why are they wise?
OK, so the mother of the Clams, as she is wont to do, just kind of makes up tidbits of wisdom as she goes. This became the topic of conversation between father Clam and the oldest of the Clams (Lisa… That Damn Clam). Father Clam said, “You know, there’s just something about your mother’s expressions, they’re not quite pearls of wisdom, they’re…” and TDC jumps in with “Clams! They’re CLAMS of wisdom!” Much hysteria followed, Mother Clam’s head exploded, and an idea sprouted in the subconsciousness of the Clam progeny.
Before the first public performance by the Clams, there was no official stage name. A flurried discussion commenced where nominations were discarded as quickly as they were submitted. Bafflement followed these name refusals, and the world will never be entranced by “The Pinheads,” “Buffy and the Slayers,” “One Ton Tomato,” “Westcott Winds,” or even “Folk and Knife.” In a moment of desperation, the youngest of the Clams (Steven… Shazam Clam) says, “It has to do with Mother Clam. How, oh how can we invoke her name to much hysteria without her killing us in the process?”
Hence, the Clams of Wisdom were born.
Unfortunately, during the first performance, Shazam Clam had a goatee. The inevitable and nasty question regarding Clams and their potentially bearded state was yelled from the audience and all hell broke loose. Things haven’t been the same since.
The Clams are an ever-evolving group. Originally, they were all of the Kellert siblings. Later, Scott (Spam Clam) came along. Scott isn’t family by blood, but it was okay because everyone thought he was married to Lynne. Some time in 2006, Steven trekked off to The Windy City, and the Clams took a hiatus. In the Fall of 2007, Scott put on a cabaret show and asked about a Clams Reunion for a portion of the show. Steven was still unable to participate, so Keith came in to fill things out to the customary Clammy Quartet. And this was okay because he actually IS married to Lynne. Everyone had a grand time performing with the new line-up, so they got together again just a couple months later to put on The Very Clammy Christmas sing-a-long show. The Clams continued to play and do some demo recordings in 2008, and took a hiatus during 2009 for Lisa’s major foot surgery.
Now in 2010, The Clams are back in action and working on lining up some gigs for this year, and possibly to record a CD. If they can stop laughing at each other long enough to get it done…!
(Clams History written by Steven Kellert and Scott Farquhar)